The Most Common Profession During the Recession


Details: This job is the most common in the world right now, and is the easiest to get into. Applicants can begin as soon as they graduate and may be in this position for months, with no visible end in sight, always with the hope that it will end with the next job application. And then it doesn't.
Responsibilities:
  1. Main duties will be searching and applying for vacancies in a desperate attempt to move out of your parents' house now that you've finished studying
  2. Will need to rewrite your CV over a hundred times to make it fit the job vacancy at hand
  3. Access to the internet would be a great advantage, although not necessarily a guarantee of successful task execution
  4. Networking is a possible method used (otherwise known as bugging people who DO have jobs to, like, you know,hook me up man.)
  5. Reading up on all the application, résumé and interview "tricks" used to get a job quickly
  6. Finding out that the tricks don't work.
Location: Anywhere (and everywhere)
Qualifications: Any at all
Approximate Salary: competitive, depending on personal lifestyle, but can begin at (–)R1000 per month (covering living cost and application forms mailed to hundreds of locations)
Required Experience: (and this is important) None whatsoever.The less experience you have, the more likely you are to retain the position.
Character Traits:
  1. A stubborn naivety in the face of constant rejection
  2. A powerful resistance to going insane with frustration and from repeating the same actions with hopes of a different result this time
  3. The stamina of a marathon runner
  4. A sponsor (a superior known as Mum or Dad) to cover living and application costs
  5. A resistance to the feeling of depression, inadequacy, and having wasted years and money gaining qualifications that no one seems to want in this economy
  6. A jealous streak toward your old classmates who have had jobs from forever...
Actual application process not necessary. You can begin today!


*******
Find out how it all began in The First Post

Comments

  1. EkariWritesJuly 10, 2011 at 5:36 PM

    A piece that I wrote awhile ago to find a bit of humour in the dark times of joblessness. May you never experience the same, but if you do, chin up! In you is a skill that the world needs to see, you just have to discover it and take bold steps to put it out there.

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownJuly 12, 2011 at 10:35 AM

    Funny...very funny. The plight of many, but thanks to those who already have jobs, we know there is hope.

    ReplyDelete

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